I don’t want happiness to just be a word,
I don’t want the idea of stable life to be absurd,
I don’t want my pain to be my earning,
I don’t want the value of my own life to be concerning,
I don’t want to be scared no more,
I don’t want to keep losing everything I cherish and adore,
I don’t want to be different, weird, unique or even the same,
I don’t want to feel sick when I hear my own name,
I don’t want to remember but I don’t want to forget,
I want to give up, but I don’t want to quit,
I don’t want to disbelieve someone’s true love for me,
I don’t want to imprison myself anymore; I want to be set free,

I don’t want to have been conditioned or programmed wrong,
And I want hear the words and melody and not just the song,

I want acceptance of who I am in my mind,
And I don’t want to keep searching for answers when theres none to find,

I have worn my mask for so long,
That even I can’t remember what I now look like,
But I’ve realised you can’t open your eyes,
When long ago you lost your sight,

So to answer your question,
What do I want from this life?
I want to let myself live,
And to actually have a life….

Wrote on: 18/01/2024