Blog

I Shall Survive

I’ve spent a life time running,Running to escape who I am,Never accepting that I could one day recover,I always just thought that I was forever damned,I convinced myself that I had to suffer,That is was my sole purpose for being here,And in order for me to pay my debt to...

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If Only….

How I long to be accepted for who I am,And not for what people think they see,And how I long for people to look at the kindness in my heart,And for them to rid their assumptions of me,How I long to feel like I’m a part of this society,By not...

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Stars

When I look up to the sky,In the middle of a darkened night,Losing track of time in the depths of insomnia,And nothing but worry’s and demons cloud my sight,I try to focus on nothing but nothing itself,Usually, to no avail,But sometimes I do manage,And when I do, the never ending...

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Born

I was born a broken man,Into a broken home,Sent down straight from the devils trashcan,And on this lonely planet I shall forever roam,Born to never know who I am,Born just to suffer and to stand out,Born to be scared to even whisper,Yet always prompted to stand up and shout,Lately I’ve...

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Awake In Bed

Lying awake in bed,Paralysed deep in my thought,Seeking long lost answers,To lessons life should have already taught,Am I even good enough for this?To just simply exist amongst it all,Who even am I?But a deluded and confused fool,I sit there pointlessly numb,With my mind pacing and racing,Pondering my crazy thoughts,With dreams...

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Slice

A new razor awaits,Aftershave at the ready,A deep breath in,To make my hand steady,A little tear,And the slightest of grins,Time to face the demons,That takes residence within,One slice for punishment,Another for the pain,One slice to remember who I am,Another to forget my name,One slice cos this is what I deserve,Another...

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Little Callum’s Dream

Once upon a time little Callum had a dream,To be happy and full of self-esteem,To not have fear and to be happy in life,To settle down, have kids and a wife,To live in a world that was safe and secure,To be happy and content and nothing much moreBut one day...

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The Child In Me

In the darkest of corners,In the depths of my mind,There is a young boy called Callum,Not yet distinguished or defined,He is free,From the punishment of age,He is innocent and pureWith his happiness yet to be caged,I try talking to him,But he doesn’t answer back,I apologise to him every single day,For...

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Vanilla Tears

Picking up the pieces of my broken life,With guilt and shame cut deep like a knife,With my depression the worst it ever has been,And heartache straight out of a movie scene,My loneliness started feeling a bit too lonely,Everyone wants a cuddle but no one wanted one from me,I heard of...

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Day

With a cigarette hanging out my mouth,I’m a damaged man riddled with mental health,I pour myself a drink at 10am,To drown myself out and them,I huddle on the floor,Begging for no more,Never hungry, barely eating,Losing so much weight, at least fatness I’m beating,Put my iPod on random,Manic laughing listening to...

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Please Don’t Notice Me

Please don’t notice me,I’m in a bad place today,Please just leave me be,And let me fade away,I’m very anxious and nervous,And I’m holding back tears,Lost in a tearful fearful emptiness,And it’s been building up for years,I have stuff to sort today,It’s the reason I was forced to come outside,I just...

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The Nuthouse Rap

A thug in a white coat giving me medication,Locked up for a month for angry meditation,All I hear is the crazies screaming,With me mad as a hatter thinking I’m dreaming,Looking at the bruises that the coppers gave me,Praying to my atheist god too come and save me,Getting my backie stolen...

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The Carnival For The Lost – The Merry Go Round

I’m at the carnival for the lost,The damaged and the broken,On the merry go round all by myself,And on the fumes of misery I’m choking,The tune is all distorted,Once a delight to hear,Now all demonic,Spreading hate and fear,The horse of death,For which I am perched upon,Go’s up and down and...

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Nightmare Makers

When I go to sleep,I know that demons start to creep,Haunting my every dream,Watching over me as I restPutting my insecurities to the test,Always the same old theme,Dark demented beings with cold black hearts,Staring straight at me from the start,Sat at the end of my bed,Invisible in day, only clear...

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Cos I’m Me

Will I ever know the reason?Why my mind has performed treason,Why I hate myself so much,Why I beg for a painful death and such,Why I feel not worthy of life,Why I slice myself with razor and knife,Why my demons never stop,Why my life for death I’d swap,Why I drink until...

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Loner Socialite

I’m a strong survivor,Who barely makes it threw it each day,A strong leader of men,Who’s got lost somewhere on the way,I’m a hopeless romantic,Whose heart is broken,I’ll give you the air we need,But on it I’m choking,I’m a poet,But I don’t know how to spell,And as my words send your...

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Burdon Beyond My Sins

No matter where I go,No matter what I do,I feel like I’m a burden,Not a part of all of you,I feel like an alien,I feel all alone,I feel like I’m unwanted by society,And this overwhelming feeling is all I have ever known,Maybe I would be better off dead,Maybe it would...

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Another Day

Today is another day,Another day of loneliness and isolation,Another day of not feeling wanted,Another day of chronic masturbation,Today is another day of feeling tired,Fatigued, old and unwell,Another day of being tortured by my demons,Another day of hell,Today is another day,Another day of being broke with no place to go,Another day...

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The Seven Seas of Sad

My river of tears that I swim in,Getting deeper and deeper the more I swim,I flooded the banks and I flooded the land,Even the reaper didn’t have any of this planned,My lonely tears keep falling down,I’m know my fate, I’m sure to drown,Stormy weather’s straight ahead,But clear skies a wait...

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